Airport Pianist

I don’t remember much of my childhood outside of memories that look curiously like the pictures in our family photo albums. But I recall sitting in the Cairo airport and seeing a piano on a slightly raised and roped-off platform. The bench was tilted away as if someone was going to sit down at any moment. Except that no-one was going to sit down because you weren’t allowed to play; it was only for decoration. 

That’s what I want to be, guys – an airport pianist. I don’t mean the guy the airport pays to play long-winded classical pieces; that guy’s a hack. I mean the casual traveler who gets a little inspiration on his way to a Cinnabon to tickle the ivories and loosen his vocal chords on the ditty he learned when he was nine. I want to be that piece of heaven or hell, probably hell, that rings in your head as you take off your shoes and power thrust at the agents of the state running the metal detectors.

This is the first thing that came up in Google.

Part of the appeal is the mystery of it all. Strangers are only going to know two things about you – what you’re wearing and what you’re playing. If you’re traveling right, you should be taking the opportunity to wear something edgy that you don’t feel comfortable wearing on the street. I usually pull out the sub-6" inseam shorts and a shirt that shows a little chest. I gotta be me! But what do you play? Well, there’s a dynamic I haven’t been able to define. It’s where you intentionally create zones of accessibility and exclusivity with a reference. For example: Halloween costumes. The goal of a Halloween costume is to incorporate a pop culture reference that’s obscure enough that most people won’t get it, catchy enough so the “outsiders” still think it’s interesting, and treasured enough that the “insiders” will be moved. You want to carry that same dynamic into your song selection. 

Genius, looking surprisingly stupid.

With that, I’ve settled on early '70s John Cale, with his buddy Lou Reed as a back-up. Simple piano parts, baritone range, easy hooky tunes that never caught on because they’re weird, and just familiar enough that if someone knows it they’ll sing along. My mom once commented that John Cale sounded nice. Perfect. Here’s my set list:

Child’s Christmas in Wales

Gideon’s Bible

Paris 1919

Big White Cloud

Perfect Day

Satellite of Love

Is it weird having two Reed anthems to cap it off? Maybe, but I've gotta finish strong, just in case “Big White Cloud” doesn’t work. But it will work, because everyone will think it’s a Dylan song they just missed when they were ignoring his Nashville era.

There are a couple complications. I only have sheet music for the Transformer and Paris 1919 songs. That’s not a big deal, because I can just find some guitar chords and riff them on piano. And I’m not very good at the piano. Correction – I’m not very conventional at the piano. I’ve only made it through the first of three adult beginner piano books. I’ve got heart, so that probably counts for thirty pages or so. I don’t think this is a very big deal either.

I don't know how to end this post, so I'm just going to riff off the airport thing and list the three best airplane neighbors I've ever had: a Colorado State professor that hosted African immigrants at her house, a mechanical engineer from Grand Rapids doing flood cleanup work, and a 5-year-old girl from Jackson, MS visiting her aunt in Detroit (we made origami paper cranes that pooped paper balls).